--Index--
The Devil
The Sun 4oCo 2oCu
7oCu AoCu
A snooty gynecologist and an english teacher.
Went on vacay with a group of girls. I was certain that they were trying to kill me and another person. Considered whether
it would be morally justifiable to kill them when I knew they would do it otherwise.
We fled and stumbled across a woman that took us in. Soon, we found out that she would kidnap children and force them to take showers
for months at a time. The ones that survived were sent into an elevator that would bring them to a machine that
would suck out their bodies. When it was our turn, we tried to escape.
9oCo
7oCo / Yesterday's decision: 10oW
Topic: The Hanged Man
Avoidance: AoCu (reversed)
Focus: Wheel of Fortune (reversed)
Tendency: 10oS (reversed)
Ace of Cups
10 of Wands
C. as a muscle to be trained
Ended up in a big hall and looked up at another room (305). The inside windows were covered in black paper coloured by printing ink. There was something written on two of the sheets; Room-Time or whatever. And something with an old woman.
Going to work in a Covid test center. Was at Kaufland. Got Duolingo Plus.
I am an officer of a spaceship fleet. We have to make an emergency landing on a planet that is inhabited by a former officer. She takes us in
until an unknown virus breaks out. We repair our ship while we still want to do the last laundry.
Before the start, I ask The Captain if he will manage the flight. He hands me his white sunglasses with black tinted lenses
while holding another object in his hand and we say to ourselves that
now, the both of us are 100% responsible for the success of the flight.
We start the spaceship (without our laundry) and leave behind The Officer.
She hopes to be able do take the DNA from our laundry to clone a life partner. We fear that she is going to die soon.
We manage to get back to The Headquarter. Once there, we gather in a huge cafeteria. Captain is behind me. I wanna give him back
his glasses, adressing him several times, but he doesn't react because I cannot think of his name. I ask the guy in front of me
for help; he talks to the Captain (his name is Du). Shortly after, we start our next flight towards The City Center.
Kitchen floor is getting crumblier.
The Fool (reversed)
Nine of Coins - The Hermit - Six of Swords (reversed)
oIo oIo oIo oIo
What if I cannot move/cross the border because of a covid infection? Could be allowed to stay in Quarantine beyond the end of the contract. Or get taken in by S. Just leave with a backpack, maybe.
Green moldy bread lying on the kitchen counter. Someone is going to eat it.
G. has covid.
Chocolate pudding that I put extra chocolate chips in. And another spaceship dream.
Colorful space-themed cereals and green vegan chicken wings.
Love spending time with Wizz. But the more I know about them, the stranger my idea of them becomes.
K. C.
G. died yesterday.
Q. C.
TT on monday.
Fixated on my position in social constellations, completely overlooking the perspective of others.
Wizz is going to miss me. And so is D. That s.s me.
On the other hand, I am currently less a. than I have been for a very, very long time. That gives me x.
4 W. reversed
Total surveillance by airplanes flying around. People live in houses built on hills of pitch-black frozen people (Predators). Everyone fears getting frozen by the airplanes as well.
...
Got covid. Quarantine. It's ok. Time to apply for jobs and unpack my stuff. And a recent goodbye letter written with purple glitter gel pen on pink Diddl paper.
Forgot a bag at Wizz's place before taking my train from L. Stresses them out a lot. I come back to search for it but eventually find it with myself. I am late now; Wizz has to drive me to the main station.
With a man I didn't love. Walked home for hours. Left him. Stole his money.
Construction work in the apartment above mine.
Gotta stay on That Island for some time. Gotta make it as comfortable and easy as possible.
Just wanna leave this place.
Weird night. Conflict with F. and I don't even know why. (I still cannot remember now, two years later)
Last day in G. Don't wanna go. Not back to The Island. To that alien city.
Roommate crossed the line.
Couldn't sleep well tonight. Scared of Roommate entering my room. Very uncomfortable atmosphere.
Yoga practice is getting more intense.
T. asked me at which place I would most like to exhibit in the world. I said with my friends.
12 hour shift at Egon S. collection...
F.'s apartment is suitable to the circumstances. I wanna move in.
F. said he likes me. Made me so happy.
Big fight with Roommate. Gotta leave.
Landlord involved.
Withdraw, lock the door, clean, leave.
Weird dreams and another paralysis. Two young men hid behind my closet and watched me. I freaked out because I initially thought Roommate had picked the lock.
What's missing in the head must be found in the legs.
Water damage not only made kitchen, bath and corridor moldy, but also my room. And some strange guy moved in while I was gone. I didn't even get a notice.
Long pro and con list about where to go from now, whether to leave, what to change.
Confusing times. F. is gone. Finally moved into his old place. Feeling comfortable. It's so beautiful.
Harsh reflections on a conversation with The Tambourmajor.
I had wild dreams, i. a. of my recent dresscoding-experience.
Head is getting clearer. [...] Later [...] D. and D., [...] S...
M. told me about his B. - plans on the phone and asked what My Advisor thought of it. Blablabla support
Also this reoccurring dream of P. visiting me on The Island.
In a weird state of suspension. Wanna go back to The Island, but actually I don't. It will probably be more
complicated than I expected.
Or maybe things just have become a little unreal by now.
A few days ago, I dreamt of being in the ocean. A gigantic steel ark swam in front of me. A loud honk came from it, blending in with the loud sound of the sea. I knew that I would have to face a task that would be difficult to complete.
I had wild dreams while riding with Flixbus. Later in bed: I move into a fucked up hallway and find a bottle of Alien perfume bottled in an Earpod case. It constantly leaks and doesn't smell like the real perfume.
A nice ending. My Advisor told me that he trusts me [...]
Not feeling good right now. [...]
No idea what the next step should be.
1. Problem/Topic: Knight of Wands (reversed)
2. -: Six of Cups (reversed) 3. +: King of Cups
4. Tendency: Temperance
Pile to clear out:
Wheel of Fortune (reversed)
x
The Lovers
Not happy with . Gotta calm down. that's what I should do first now. Then see further, formulate [...]
L. crouches on all fours in front of me and pulls down her pants in L.'s bedroom. L. and another person are there too.
Ich habe Leichen im Keller. Lots of corpses. I have to dispose them. J. is there too, I think. We try to leave the corpses in a caravan, a basement
and a river. M. appears, wondering what's going on. The dream takes place on a large wasteland.
I killed somebody. Or rather helped someone kill somebody. This Man was psychologically unstable and violent. (Note from 2024:
I cannot recall whether "This Man" refers to The Victim or The Perpetrator.)
Afterwards, I acted like nothing had happened and followed the search for The Man secretly for years out of fear of getting
caught myself.
10 years later, I am now sitting down with The Squad. They tell me that the case has long been closed. I break down and
confess. P. stays rational while M. is super disappointed.
Another dream of this cool Pinterest outfit that is available at Urban Outfitters now.
I recently started baking a lot (or possibly less than I used to). One day, I walked past a showcase together with some woman. There was a square cake on display which contained several lemon- and Benjamin-Blümchen cakes in itself. How do you cut and arrange round cakes to get square ones?
Favoriten, a station, a construction site and a beautiful view of the mountains.
Also: My Advisor is a. that I haven't x, but I didn't x. He was x...
I dreamt that it was time to wake up.
Time to wake u-up
/
One time I worked as security at Olympia. I stood on a tall wooden bridge and the participants jumped on it directly next to me. I was uncomfortable
being in the spot light.
xxSomething with the class.
xx S. came to me and wanted me to support the "Gebäudeüberschuss" at KBG with a stack of drawings, but I didn't have nearly enough. She got angry; I asked why
they wouldn't simply add a pillar.
I visited Someone (looking back, you could call him The Yoghurt Sauce Chef) in his new shared flat tonight. He now sleeps in a chamber without windows. I asked him if he had already been outside today. He said Yes, but I knew that he was lying. I sat down on his lap and we fucked.
/
Frankfurt/Offenbach while falling asleep.
7 + 2 = 5
Had a job interview at The Palace and the brown leather shoes that N. had lent me became red and black clown shoes. I looked like a punk and tried to make quick changes.
(Flagged by The Hat Maker)
Open air cinema in a building that was due for demolition. I was with a group. We misbehaved and left.
I could swap a monday evening shift at the L. museum for a sunday shift at the Palace. Boss and I gossiped about L.
The best time for butt training is supposed to be after work. I present some exercises but I am completely exhausted.
I came to see a show by Lars' class. It was located in a large warehouse, edgy paintings hanging everywhere. The exhibition
was a success, Lars was happy. There was another girl that also had something going on with him. Her name was Larsina.
I was jealous, but I tried to keep in mind that it had nothing to do with us.
I was the "slave" of a man. Tried to jump out of the window with a (flying) floating tire, but M. held me back. The man took me to the pool and had my things searched in the meantime. He found an Elf Bar in my bag.
I remembered my dream, but I was in a bad mood when I woke up.
Hands can say goodbye to a place better than feet. They can touch all these objects. Feet only know the floor below them.
Someone wore J.'s expensive sweater. The colourful one with the irregular horizontal stripes.
I wanna get (h). I have now decided. It will take some time. But it will work out. I am quite sure of that.
L. comes back. Now all I need is s.
Today marks the first day of the new semester. Hope things will be good. Optimistic.
Painting course.
Also: I jumped 20 meters across giant roofs!
And: I swam! In a deep blue pool at night and into the G. B. R.
I woke up glad!
[7.M.]
[4.m.] [R.Sc.]
[8.Sc.]
Topic: Profit
Avoidance: Control
Endeavour: Determination
Tendency: Captivity
Types of shame
(Bodily shame)-----(Indentity shame)-----
(External shame)-----(Status shame)-----
P: have to go to The Terminal Station to work
-> L.
-> My Advisor
-> University
-> Money
-> Stress
Less wasting time = more making money
Miss having time (and space) for x. Maybe living alone [...]
Since I came here, I have been in (f). Cannot do anything for now, but things will dissolve.
[P.M.]
[6.K.] [A.K.]
[4.Sc.]
I am (s), but also (r) and (o).
[...]
Pro and con list on the question of whether to x or not to x. (Next time, just get tf out)
not everything is always xxxxxx (xxx in two months from now, x)